It went online on Thursday and bids rose from 99p to £75,500 in just seven hours.

Lindsay also adds that the lucky new owner can also pick up her ‘idiot husband’ from their home in Castle Ashby, Northants.

Lindsay, who runs Lemon and Lime website designs, said: ‘He bought it for a camping fridge which is gas powered and said to me ‘Think of the caravan as the packaging’.

‘One day I went round the back of the office and there this caravan was. He said he thought he had told me.

Lindsay Butcher is selling her husband Lee’s drunken purchase of a ‘s***house crap caravan’ on eBay drawing in bids of more than £75,000

The seller, from Castle Ashby, has listed the item as ‘s***house crap caravan’ and explains that her husband purchased the portable home when drunk

The Elddis caravan was bought by Lee on a drunk spending spree on eBay. Now, his wife is selling the dirty vehicle – currently drawing more than 100 bids

The tongue-in-cheek listing for the drably furnished caravan first went online on Thursday afternoon and the price has risen from 99p to £75,500 in just seven hours

‘It is annoying as I actually want to sell it. I’d be happy with £150. It’s all completely true and it’s not the first time this sort of thing has happened.

‘I need to get rid of it. I genuinely listed it so that someone would by it. Lots of people seem to want to by it but I’m not convinced that it will actually sell for that.’

No returns are accepted and it is cash on collection once it has sold in nine days time.

Lindsay’s description, which has had more than 47,000 views, reads: ‘Luckily, I’m the trusting type, and despite appearances I don’t think he bought it solely for the purpose of having a sordid extra-marital affair or taking up dogging, however as you might be able to see from the pictures, it would be PERFECT for both.

‘Also pretty useful if you’re thinking of getting into murdering. I considered contacting the producers of The Fall to see if they wanted it for set dressing the next series – lets face it I’d sell my entire family for a chance to look upon Jamie Dornan with my real live eyes – but, well, life is short and ebay has been a good friend to me.

The seller explains that, as you might be able to see from the pictures, it would be perfect for dogging and extra-marital affairs, and ‘also pretty useful if you’re thinking of getting into murdering’

‘Down to details – this caravan has four walls, a roof, wheels and an interior unmatched in modern times for what I like to call, shabby shit.

‘When I discovered I / we now owned this abomination of a wheeled device, I briefly considered starting a fun project to convert it into something cool – covering it in glitter, wallpapering the walls with fur, doing demented Cath Kidston-esque upholstery and starting an ill advised business touring festivals selling tat etc. but I’ve got two children, a job, and an idiot husband to deal with and quite frankly, time is money so I’m not going to bother.

She details the caravan’s assets, explaining it has four walls, a roof, wheels and an interior unmatched in modern times for what she likes to call ‘shabby s***’

‘That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t though.

‘Think of the fun you could have in it whilst gazing out of the slightly tinted windows at rain-lashed Britain. Perhaps you could whittle a toilet for it out of the sad remains of your soul (there is a space for one).

‘If I had a bigger garden (i.e. one where I couldn’t see this caravan) I’d let my children have it as a playhouse, but having been raised on an almost total visual diet of driftwood and White Company homewares I’m worried that they are simply far too middle class to tolerate the amount of beige laminate which makes up the interior.

‘Nothing a few coats of paint wouldn’t fix, but like I said – ABSOLUTELY NOT to be undertaken by anyone with small children, better things to do, or indeed, any reliable form of social life.

‘On the other hand, if you’re the kind of person who likes to bake an egg inside an avocado, eat ‘clean’, sew bunting, create endless ironic pinterest boards of favourite beards and/or breton tops then this could well be just the ticket to while away those spare hours.

‘This apparently tows well, (although you will need a light board), does not leak, and quite frankly if you’re in the market for a shit caravan – this is the one for you!

‘Cash on collection, viewings welcome, no sex pests or weirdos, no refunds, absolutely no forward rolls.’ 

Trying to flog the item, which has received 133 bids, and counting, she adds: ‘Think of the fun you could have in it whilst gazing out of the slightly tinted windows at rain-lashed Britain. 

‘If I had a bigger garden (i.e. one where I couldn’t see this caravan) I’d let my children have it as a playhouse, but having been raised on an almost total visual diet of driftwood and White Company homewares I’m worried that they are simply far too middle class to tolerate the amount of beige laminate which makes up the interior. 

‘Nothing a few coats of paint wouldn’t fix, but like I said – ABSOLUTELY NOT to be undertaken by anyone with small children, better things to do, or indeed, any reliable form of social life.

‘On the other hand, if you’re the kind of person who likes to bake an egg inside an avocado, eat ‘clean’, sew bunting, create endless ironic pinterest boards of favourite beards and/or breton tops then this could well be just the ticket to while away those spare hours.’

The couple, who have been together for 10 years, have two children, Rose, five, and Barnaby, three, and together run Lemon and Lime website design

If the money from the top winner comes through on eBay, the married couple plan to spend it on their house renovations

The seller, who states that ‘no sex pests or weirdos, no refunds and absolutely no forward rolls’ are tolerated, signs off: ‘Quite frankly if you’re in the market for a s*** caravan – this is the one for you!

‘Free idiot husband for winning bidder.’

The auction ends on September 6 at 3.30pm. 

Lindsay said this is not the first time her husband has drunkenly bought items online.

If the money from the top winner comes through on eBay, the married couple plan to spend it on their house renovations.

She said: ‘This happens on a regular basis but I must add that he is not an alcoholic.

‘He just loves eBay. He’s bought numerous old vehicles from it and at the moment he has a 1980s Porsche.

‘I have no idea how much it cost but we don’t need another car, we already have two but he drives it around and it’s in working order.

‘I very much doubt anyone will pay for it, but anything above £50 is a profit.

‘We are currently living in a big building site as we are having some work done to our house.

‘At least the bathroom could be paid for.

‘I was absolutely not tempted to keep it. At first I thought maybe we could do something cool with it but I will leave that up to someone else now.’

Lindsay’s description, which has had more than 47,000 views, reads: ‘Luckily, I’m the trusting type, and despite appearances I don’t think he bought it solely for the purpose of having a sordid extra-marital affair or taking up dogging, however as you might be able to see from the pictures, it would be PERFECT for both’

A hilarious set of questions, including: ‘Does this come with a free Tetanus injection?’, have poured in 

Lee, 46, said he likes to buy items from the online auction site but will not miss his latest purchase.

He said: ‘I have a collection of things that I’ve gathered over the years.

‘But I want somebody to just come and take the caravan away.

‘I enjoy using eBay and I find it amusing that this has become news. I buy any old cars but sometimes put them back on eBay when I’m done with it.’

The couple, who have been together for 10 years, have two children, Rose, five, and Barnaby, three, and together run Lemon and Lime website design.

Lindsay writes a blog – andotheridiots.wordpress.com – where she originally posted the advert. 

BEST QUESTIONS ASKED ABOUT THE CARAVAN ON EBAY 

Q: Does this come with a free Tetanus injection?

A: Woefully, not.

Q: I see that this item is fairly local to me. Is it possible that you could move it further away, please? Many thanks in advance…

A: HA!

Q: Just curious, what’s that white powder stuff outside the door?..

A: The powdered remains of my enemies

Q: Looking for a seedy cheap looking porn set. Can you confirm how many middle-aged moustached German men can be ‘accommodated’ comfortably and can you confirm that the brown interior is 1970’s standard porn beige

A: I am afraid this caravan is MUCH TOO RICKETY to accommodate moustached German men. Danish, maybe. German – no.

Q: I notice it says, ‘May not post to Australia.’ Is there a reason for this?

A: As everybody knows, Australia is a nation peopled almost ENTIRELY by criminals.

Q: Is this for real?

A: Yes Emma. This caravan actually exists, and I would like to sell it. I’m a bit unsure as to whether I will ever realise the current £70k high bid, but nevertheless – the caravan MUST GO.

Q: Is your husband also responsible for the half arsed (I’m being generous) re-roofing project behind picture No. 1 ?

A: How rude. That is our house.

Q: Being a suspicious type, I notice from your description that this – er – caravan has a roof and four walls I wonder if you would have a suitable floor available as I wouldn’t want ‘things’ falling onto the road

A: Good point. Very good point.

Q: I have 6 juvenile bantam cockerels. Would you consider a swap?

A: 🙂 No. They sound like cocks.

Q: Do you have a buy it now price?

A: At current reckoning I’m considering letting it go for a a buy it now price of £100,000,000, plus a small tropical private island, personal account at Harrods and having my face burnished with solid gold. Let me know if you’re still interested.

Q: Dear Linzhead, I recently met an older woman through a friend of a friend. She is used to the finer things in life, designer clothes and first class travel. She spends most of her time getting letched on by stockbrokers and is currently on a one woman mission to rid the world of gin. I would like to show her how much pleasures could gain from the simple life. Would this two wheeled abomination be a suitable way of showing her how us mere scumbag mortals spend our leisure time? Should I perhaps aim slightly more up market for fear of scaring her off and book us a self catering long weekend in the third circle of hell?

A: Save yourself the trouble and head for Kettering. (you’re welcome.)

Q: Hi, I have a suitably shite tow car I want to get rid of (broken and rusty) can we have your blokes details to dupe him into purchace please, its such a perfect combo.

A: I suspect he’s probably already bidding on it.

Q: Hi there, Are backward rolls acceptable please?

A: Nope. Absolutely not. (pervert)

Q: Would it burn well ?

A: If the winning bidder gets a bit shy about their £65,900 commitment, then we shall see…..!

Q: I cannot believe you had the audacity to start the bidding at 99p – have you no shame?

A: Erm. Nope. I actually started the bidding at £150, but then revised the listing as was told it was wildly ambitious.  Currently, the highest bid is £65,800 though, so who’s laughing now?!

Q: Is the upholstery free of stains? regards Bob Hatter

A: I don’t dare look too closely. Assume not.

Q: Does this come with an awning for dismembering bodies?

A: Yup. Oh no, wait. No.

Q: I’ve got a c*** van to sell, can you put me in touch with your husband please?

A: Sorry, we already have one of those too. It is blue. Also bought on Ebay.

Q: What`s the hubby look like?

A: Like the drunken owner of this caravan 

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