Witty Millennials of New York parody page pokes fun at grumpy twenty-somethings

Inspired by Brandon Stanton’s Humans of New York, the Facebook page also features New Yorkers alongside quotes
Unlike the original, these stories are made up to poke fun at 20-somethings living in the city

Carly Stern For Dailymail.com

Published:
22:30 GMT, 13 August 2015

|
Updated:
22:37 GMT, 13 August 2015

View
comments

Set up by Elite Daily, the page jokingly spotlights young New Yorkers alongside funny quotes and anecdotes.

Editors explained that Brandon Stanton’s Humans of New York, which shares portraits of real New Yorkers with interesting stories, glosses over ‘some of the less glamorous parts of life – especially for 20-somethings’. So in their brutally-honest take on people who live in the city that never sleeps, nothing is held back – not even some of the less-than-flattering stereotypes of city-dwelling Generation Y-ers.

Clever page: Millennials of New York, a parody of Humans of New York, spotlights young New Yorkers and shares fake, satirical stories

Java grump: In one rant, a millennial New Yorker complains that it’s ‘impossible to find a good cup’ of coffee in NYC these days

She’s a fighter: The caption for a young woman discusses how ‘apathetic’ her generation is and how she wants people to take up her cause

Life-changing problem: Her cause, though, is getting people to stop posting pictures on Instagram with unrelated hashtags

Some of the quotes unflatteringly paint the generation as entitled, uninterested in current events, and focusing too much energy on unimportant things.

‘Why would I waste my time watching the Republican debate tonight?’ reads one caption below a picture of a young man. ‘If I wanted to hear a bunch of old white guys complain about how a black guy is ruining everything I’d just walk into the rec room of a retirement home and hold up a cardboard cutout of Tiger Woods.’

Another makes a long speech about not being able to find a good cup of coffee in the city, representing indignant Brooklyn hipsters by ranting: ‘How can you call yourself a coffee shop and not even offer latte art? [My barista] Lauren draws the most amazing leaves in my foam every single morning – except Tuesdays, when she repairs vintage harps in her apartment.’

Several New Yorkers featured are obsessed with trendiness, exhibit poor judgement, and work in directionless jobs.

‘I’m a professional talent scout,’ says one woman with green dip-dyed hair who is taking a picture of a dog with her phone. ‘I spend my days walking around the city looking for a subject that I can turn into the next big meme. My primary focus used to be cute, exotic animals – your slow lorises, your three-toed sloths.’

One man’s caption reads: ‘I leave homophobic comments on cat videos.’

Swanky in the city! Sex and the City creator Candace…

‘They say this is a cool day’: Sunburned New Yorker and…

So, what do you do? Several of the millennials have ridiculous jobs, like this girl who is a ‘talent scout’ – for internet memes

Making a living: She says that she is on the lookout for ‘slow lorises’ and ‘three-toed sloths’ – as if those are things easily found in Manhattan

Social pick-me-up: In this young woman’s caption, it says that she was ‘utterly miserable’ and seeing a therapist until a photo she shared on Instagram earned 123 likes

Photo op: The picture was of her with a ‘penguin wearing a tiny sweater’ that she paid $80 for at the zoo

Seemingly serious: The pictures are shot in the style as those featured on Humans of New York

Meow! But instead of the real, fascinating stories shared on the original page, this satire features quotes like: ‘I leave homophobic comments on cat videos

Not all of the satirical images are critical, however. Some accurately sum up what it is like to be a young person almost anywhere in the country – drinking cheap wine, getting sucked into Law Order: SVU marathons, and going on bad dates.

‘The only way I can really relax is by watching TV shows about murder,’ reads one caption beneath a photo of a girl in a park.

‘My friends keep telling me that I should, like, do a pomegranate cleanse when I feel the pressure building, but why would I do that when Law and Order: SVU is always playing on at least one channel? After a long, stressful day, there’s nothing I love more than popping open a can of rosé and trying to figure out who bludgeoned a prostitute to death with her own prosthetic leg.’

A few of the fictional posts are entirely New York-centric stories about pointedly ignoring annoying subway performers, battling Time Warner Cable’s notoriously poor customer service, and turning a blind eye to a landlord’s ethical issues after finally finding a dream apartment.

Not so nice: The people on the page are often painted as ridiculous, shallow, and self-absorbed

OMG! One girl, pictured with her friend, is reported to have said that she didn’t want to live with a ‘rando’, or random person, from a Craigslist ad and was happy to live with her best friend

Shots, shots shots! Some of the stories would resonate with millennials across the country, like one apparently told by this girl, who had too much to drink one night at a local bar

Uh oh! In the fictional anecdote, she went to a bar for the air conditioning and got so drunk that she peed in her bed

‘One time, I was riding the F home after a late night at work. As soon as the doors closed, a guy yelled “It’s showtime!” and cued up This Is How We Do It on a tiny boombox,’ reads a pony-tail-wearing woman’s quote. ‘He started to clap along as his friend spun around a pole using nothing but his ponytail.

‘[Then] the train braked without warning. He flew across the car and crashed against the door. The other passengers kept staring blankly at their phones as his friend began to clap louder and louder, like he was trying to bring Tinkerbell back to life… I hate subway performers.’

Another caption says: ‘My craziest NYC story? One time I had Time Warner Internet for an entire year and never had a single issue. I can’t think of anything that comes close to topping that.’

Of course, millennials have a particular reputation for being obsessed with social media and living out their entire lives for the world to see – and Millennials of New York doesn’t ignore that.

Get a job: Many of the young people seem directionless and caught up silly hobbies

Jump off a roof: The quote for one young man, who posed on a fire hydrant, read that the ‘secret to success’ is mastering Parkour

Funny lines: This man apparently said that he didn’t need to watch the Republican debate

Alternate plan: Instead, he said, he could bring a picture of Tiger Woods to a retirement home and hear the same racist comments

‘This generation is so apathetic,’ it says under the photo of one young woman. ‘People don’t want to get out there and actually make a difference, so I’ve taken it upon myself to try and enact some real change. There’s an epidemic out there and I can’t believe I’m the only person who seems to care about one of the most pressing social issues of our time: people posting sexy selfies on social media with completely unrelated captions.

‘If I see one more picture of a butt in the mirror of a cruise ship bathroom with the caption ‘Love my family!!! ‪#‎namaste‬’ I’m going to set a national park on fire. Support the cause. Be on the right side of history.’

Another girl in shorts explained how she pulled herself out of depression after a posting a cute photo on Instagram and getting a positive response.

‘I went to the zoo and paid $80 to take a picture with a penguin wearing a tiny sweater,’ she said. I posted it on Instagram and it got 123 likes! 123!! I suddenly felt like my life had been filled with a purifying, healing light.’