Hospitable owner of Grade 1-listed manor house bans women’s groups after …

William Cash astounded by rudeness of Townswomen’s Guild
One of them locked everyone outside house – then asked why he didn’t have a spare key
Cash offered them private toilet but no gratitude was shown
Owner tried to be hospitable to group who hadn’t booked – but wished he hadn’t have bothered

By
William Cash

PUBLISHED:

23:47 GMT, 16 August 2013

|

UPDATED:

16:50 GMT, 17 August 2013

Action stations: Upton Cressett owner William Cash has banned women's groups from touring his manor house

Action stations: Upton Cressett owner William Cash has banned women’s groups from touring his manor house

Trying to round up 30 women of a certain age and herd them towards the car park was a bit like shooing wayward geese. But my blood was up and my patience at an end.

‘You’re no longer welcome on my property,’ I bellowed. ‘Could you leave the grounds immediately!’

There were squawks of outrage and indignation from some but sly grins of unmistakable enjoyment on the faces of others.

For them, an outing that ended with an angry scene was clearly a bonus. But I stood my ground and eventually they all found their way into the cars and mini-buses and drove off.

Phew! It was over. I had just thrown the good ladies of the Women’s Institute out of my Grade I-listed Elizabethan manor house in Shropshire — and banned all WI parties from visiting for the rest of the season.

It had been one of the most infuriating afternoons I have had in 30 years of showing people around my family home, Upton Cressett.

I’d smelled trouble a few minutes earlier when one of the women came marching purposefully towards me. Late 50s in age, I guessed, and with a jungle of knotty brown hair, she had the air of someone who’d done her share of student protests in her youth and who would still take to the barricades to prevent a bypass.

But on her face she wore an expression that I have increasingly come to recognise. It’s a mix of haughtiness and self-righteous indignation, laced with a love of confrontation that, in this case, had her almost licking her lips in anticipation as she marched towards me.

There was no doubt about it: I was about to be monstered. She wasted no time. ‘You owe one of our members an apology,’ she snapped.

I knew what she was talking about but I certainly wasn’t going to be barked at in this way, particularly as I wasn’t in the wrong.

‘You mean the woman who marched into my house, demanded to use the private lavatory and then proceeded to lock everybody out of the house?’ I fumed. ‘And who still hasn’t apologised?’

Ms Knotty Hair — think Linda Snell in The Archers — didn’t miss a beat, clearly accustomed to sticking her nose into things that were not her business. ‘You made her feel small, speaking to her like that in front of everyone else. She didn’t mean to lock the door behind her. You should carry a key in your pocket!’

Scene: Cash was surprised at the level of arrogance and patronising nature of a Townswomen¿s Guild group who visited his manor house, pictured

I smiled. I’ve been giving guided tours of Upton Cressett since I was 11 and I’ve learned there is always one person in any group who loves to find fault and complain, normally just after they’ve polished off their third helping of lemon drizzle cake and Earl Grey.

What has surprised me, however, is how many of these arch-moaners are members of charitable, well-meaning institutions for middle-aged, middle-class ladies. These organisations do wonderful things — sustaining traditional crafts and championing activities from creative writing to belly-dancing.

But these days some of their members almost seem to pride themselves on their ability to dish it out . . . particularly to men. I should have remembered all this when I opened the front door that day, earlier this month, in response to loud knocking and found almost 60 women waiting for a tour.

It was an expectant sea of sensible summer dresses and walking sticks. The only problem was, I wasn’t expecting them; not all of them, anyway.

‘What has surprised me, however, is how
many of these arch-moaners are members of charitable, well-meaning
institutions for middle-aged, middle-class ladies’

William Cash

We had booked in one 25-strong WI party, but not the second group. There was no record of a booking — no email or letter — and certainly no sign of a cheque for the deposit. A 50 per cent deposit was introduced earlier this year after a WI party of 45 failed to turn up.

We’d brought in a professional guide for the day; asked Margaret, our wonderful cake-maker, to bake extra, and then . . . nothing, not even a letter of apology.

Consequently, I was surprised to find these ladies on my doorstep, completely unannounced.

But I’m a hospitable sort of chap — although we were temporarily short of staff, I thought we could muddle through, particularly if I could persuade one group to have tea while the other had their tour and then swap them around.

We are not a grand stately home, like Chatsworth, that has turned visitors into big business. Over 900 years, Upton Cressett may have hosted everyone from Charles I to Baroness Thatcher, Boris Johnson to Elizabeth Hurley, but it is relatively modest in size and we open it to visitors because we love it, not to make money.

The house has been featured in a BBC adaptation of Dickens and is regarded as an inspiration for Blandings Castle, as P.G. Wodehouse grew up in the area.

Our Upton Cressett team consists only of me, Louisa, who helps serve cakes and tea but had gone shopping with my mother on that fated afternoon, and Pedro, our Spanish part-time gardener.
This year we even have team T-shirts, bearing the red Upton Cressett ‘sea dragon’ logo. I was wearing mine proudly that afternoon for the very first time.

The plan was for the unannounced ladies to have tea on the lawn, while I took the other group around the house and grounds.

But it was when I headed inside to the kitchen to check we had enough lemon drizzle cake and chocolate sponge that things started to go wrong. ‘Are you staff?’ snapped a tall, white-haired woman who’d followed me in, despite the fact the Hall was clearly not yet open. ‘Where’s the toilet?’ she asked imperiously, peering at my T-shirt logo through her glasses.

Ah, the perennial toilet question, the bane of anyone who opens their house to visitors. Old houses such as mine may offer heritage and history but, in my experience, what many guests are most interested in is tea and toilets.

‘I’m not “staff”,’ I replied as politely as I could. ‘We don’t offer any public lavatories inside the house. But if you want you can use the loo under the stairs.’

The original 'Calendar Girls' (pictured), Women's Institute members who stripped off to raise money for charity. William Cash has apologised after wrongly believing the rowdy group were from the WI when in fact they were from Townswomen's Guild

The original ‘Calendar Girls’ (pictured), Women’s Institute members who stripped off to raise money for charity. William Cash has apologised after wrongly believing the rowdy group were from the WI when in fact they were from Townswomen’s Guild

There was no word of thanks from Imperious Woman. I prepared tea and headed outside to get the groups organised. There, the scene on the lawn — somewhere between a Saga cruise and a cast outing from the Tottering-by-Gently cartoon strip in Country Life — was convivial. I began to relax.

And then Imperious Woman emerged from the front door, her pressing needs relieved and forcefully pulled it shut behind her. It closed with a loud — and ominous — clunk. It was deadlocked and the only key to open it was inside. We were now all locked out of the house I was supposed to be showing everyone round.

‘Oh dear,’ I said. ‘You’ve just locked everybody out. I don’t think either the tours or the teas are about to happen any time soon.’

She replied grandly: ‘I didn’t mean to. Haven’t you got a spare key?’ There was no apology and, as for the spare key, it was locked in the house, too.

We solved the impasse by Pedro breaking a pane of glass (cutting his hand in the process), his son climbing through a small window.

We were back on track. So the last thing I expected, as I prepared to collect payment from the two groups, was to find Ms Knotty Hair bearing down on me.

‘I don’t expect people to be rude to me in my own house, whether they mistake me for staff or not,’ I said. ‘We don’t offer public toilet facilities in the house but I still allowed her to use the loo — as I did all your group all afternoon — but still got no thanks.’

‘Our members must have access to public toilets,’ interjected someone else. ‘It’s a basic requirement.’ I’d had enough. We have public toilets in the car park; it was just unfortunate that someone had disappeared with the key that morning. That’s why I’d been letting them all use the loo inside.

I said: ‘Why don’t you all just kindly leave right now. You can keep your money. In 30 years of giving tours, your group are the most objectionable and rudest I have ever encountered.’

‘Your branch of the WI are banned from ever visiting here again — and I’m going to extend this ban to all WI groups for the rest of the season.’ And that, dear reader, is how I came to ban the WI from my house. Or so I thought.

You see, this is where I have to confess to a rather shaming mistake. I later found out that the group of women who’d turned up unannounced — and of which the toilet lady was a member — were not from the WI after all.

In fact, they were from a Townswomen’s Guild some miles away.

Women of the WI, I hereby apologise. My war is not with you — it’s with bossy, self-righteous middle-class ladies of any organisation who think I and my colleagues at Upton Cresset are peasants to be patronised, and who forget their manners when visiting another person’s home.

Just because a few pounds have exchanged hands — not that they had in this case — doesn’t mean ‘guests’ have the right to think the ‘client is always right’, that most nebulous of modern mantras. It does not give them carte blanche to abuse the owner’s invitation.

Too many of the members of these groups delight in their reputation as forceful, no-nonsense women but some, especially when backed up in sisterly numbers, don’t know the difference between being forceful and being downright rude.

But at least at Upton Cressett, they do now.

The comments below have not been moderated.

Newest
Oldest
Best rated
Worst rated

Mrs Knotty Hair is probably making a bloody nuisance about “fracking” down at Balcome, while simultaneously griping about “fuel poverty”.

–

The Punisher
,

Darlington ENGLAND, United Kingdom,
17/8/2013 20:35

In his defence I doubt there are many men who could spot the difference between the WI and the Townswomen’s Guild.

–

Adam
,

Bournemouth,
17/8/2013 20:07

My sister is a psychiatrist, and you would be surprised by what a disproportionate number of sociopaths turn out to be members of such groups.

It’s hard to generalise, but in my personal experience I can assure you of this – every single women’s feminist organisational group I have ever come across, in my career as a business woman, I find to be filled with nothing but a repulsive bunch of women.

They justify their repulsive behaviour by stating that ‘we’re not like the typical woman, we don’t give into pressure of being lady-like’ but this is irrelevant. People do not automatically think wrong of them for being women, or ‘pro-women’, but rather people think wrong of them because, like in my experiences with such women, they are repulsive people who lack manners and empathy… their children tend to grow up resenting them.

Although the accuracy of the DM comes under a lot of speculation – I find the overall message of this story to be spot on!

–

Imelda_Grosvenor
,

kensies london,
17/8/2013 19:27

This pompous old man is probably lying and exaggerating the actions of these ladies for publicity. Started giving guided tours aged 11? I’m pretty sure that’s impossible. Just another lie. ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING.

–

YA BOY PLUS PLUS
,

Visokoi Island, South Georgia And The South Sandwich Islands,
17/8/2013 19:22

Man hating middle aged feminist divorcees. The type of person that ruins this great country. Luckily the younger generation does not want to know and is rejecting their nonsense.

– Wakeup , London, 17/8/2013 13:38

Speaking as a middle aged feminist WHO HAS BEEN MARRIED TO THE SAME MAN FOR MANY YEARS, not all feminists hate men or are divorced. The ones that are don’t generally join the WI, an organisation which until relatively recently promoted crafts and interests associated with home making and the traditional role of the STAY AT HOME HOUSEWIFE. And my experience of young women is that many of them are actually very worried about their role in society, they don’t all spend their time trying to emulate TOWIE. I think Wakeup really needs to Wake up

–

Bella
,

Newbury,
17/8/2013 19:18

Dont blame him, In the PUB I used to own the only rude people were women, expect everything and give nothing. I took great pleasure in bringing them down to their ignorant level before I threw them out. Some people think because you work in a service industry they can treat you like dirt, well everyone has a line !

–

Solamore
,

Malaga,
17/8/2013 19:06

6 I think you should read the article again. NO GROUP WAS EXPECTED THAT DAY! They just turned up and he took them in, Yes, he needs the money to maintain the house, but he could have told them to get on their bikes then. He didn’t. This would be a non story if he turned the lot of them away, as he was well entitled to do!
– Kaz, London, United Kingdom, 17/8/2013 17:06

So he says, but this is the person who was so disorganised that he lost the keys to the public loos, let his staff disappear though on his own account he was expecting 25 people, and left the only key to the front door inside the house without bothering to put the door on the catch so it wouldn’t lock if someone closed it. Do we believe that 30 women turned up without having booked, or do we believe that one disorganised man mixed up his bookings?

–

John
,

Birmingham,
17/8/2013 18:50

The play this privileged son of Bill Cash MP staged on the Moat lawn sums it up………..Much Ado About Nothing

–

lodge60
,

abergavenny,
17/8/2013 18:43

Is this news?

– Chantal , Skåne, Sweden, 17/8/2013 17:28
…….YES, it shows a) everyone is sick of pedestal self entitled women and b) how to deal with them. This is not just news….it is a new belief system 🙂

–

peter parker
,

London, United Kingdom,
17/8/2013 18:26

Hear hear! I work in events, and the rudeness I encounter from people is unbelievable. While I wholly appreciate and truly empathize that you have spent money, my job description does not include “accepting utter rudeness”. When days do not go right, you would not believe the expectations of complaining middle class women especially. Good example. £6.50 tickets bought online where it states as you purchase and in your confirmation e-mail to arrive 20 minutes beforehand. Customer shows up about 15 minutes late for the tour (so 35 minutes). All tours for the day are booked to full capacity. “I’ve suffered a loss of earnings, grave disappointment and inconvenience, paid £10 for parking – I expect you to compensate me for the inadequacy of arrangements in case of extenuating circumstances” LOVE you were late. You were an inconvenience to us by failing to follow basic instructions, where we see about 2000 people a day!

–

Confessed Cynic
,

London, United Kingdom,
17/8/2013 18:19

The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.

List.ify.Me

everything is listed…

Hospitable owner of Grade 1-listed manor house bans women’s groups after …

‘What has surprised me, however, is how
many of these arch-moaners are members of charitable, well-meaning
institutions for middle-aged, middle-class ladies’

‘What has surprised me, however, is how many of these arch-moaners are members of charitable, well-meaning institutions for middle-aged, middle-class ladies’

Share or comment on this article

‘What has surprised me, however, is how
many of these arch-moaners are members of charitable, well-meaning
institutions for middle-aged, middle-class ladies’