Something old, something new, something borrowed, something … Big Blue?

Michigan athletic director Dave Brandon wants to give the cash flow a boost by opening up the Big House — the Wolverines’ 109,901-seat stadium — to host weddings, parties and the like, The Detroit News reported.

Or as any nuptials will be listed on the football schedule, Rice at Michigan.

This just in

Dateline Florham Park, N.J.: Jets coach Rex Ryan announces weekly tryouts for barefooted kickers.

You shouldn’t have

“Blue Valentine,” debuting in theaters this week, is a movie centered around:

a) The love life of a married couple.

b) Getting unsolicited texts from Brett Favre.

Oh, the Humanitarian

You won’t hear Tom Matukewicz, interim coach of the Northern Illinois football team, complaining about the glut of 35 postseason games after his team’s 40-17 victory over Fresno State in Boise.

“Everybody talks about having too many bowl games,” Matukewicz told The Idaho Statesman, “but you can’t put a price on the experience these kids have enjoyed. Someday they will be 98 years old and trying to tell their wives what they once did in the Humanitarian Bowl.”

Headlines

• At Fark.com: “Gillette decides that Tiger Woods is not the best an endorsement can get.”

• At SportsPickle.com: “Rex Ryan very disappointed to get Christmas socks.”

He’s had his fill

Too bad Maryland didn’t try to push football coach Ralph Friedgen aside back in his more corpulent days.

Good luck getting him to eat the last year of his contract now.

Just Skin, Baby

Q: What would Al Davis name a Lingerie Football League team?

A: The Oakland Panty Raiders.

Quote marks

• Ron Kantowski of the Las Vegas Review-Journal, after hometown Findlay Prep ended Houston Yates’ 66-game winning streak in a high-school basketball game televised on ESPN: “Which means two things: Findlay is pretty darn good again, and it has a better TV deal than the Mountain West.”

• Brad Dickson, in the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on Celtics center Shaquille O’Neal saying he conducted the Boston Pops because he likes to try things outside his comfort zone: “I thought that’s why the free-throw line was invented.”

• Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco, via Twitter, after coach Marvin Lewis accused him of moping: “Did anyone get the license plate to the bus I was just threw under?”

Pass the

maple syrup

Just wondering: If a Maple Leafs fan gets banned from the Air Canada Centre for throwing waffles onto the ice, does that make him an Eggomaniac?

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com